I woke up this morning, and my first thought came to mind, "that didn't really happen, did it?"
I met him for a quick bite to eat, he greeted me hello....gave me a kiss on the cheek...and then...
I met him for a quick bite to eat, he greeted me hello....gave me a kiss on the cheek...and then...
17 Comments:
he asked me, "Where did all these feathers come from?"
"Mmm, feathers?"
"Yeah, the ones stuck in your hair, all over your clothes, even stuck here in your collar...wait...it seems to be stuck to you..."
I quickly brushed his hand away from my neck before he could discover that the feather was actually attached. Playing dumb wasn't working. It was time to tell him...
... that dinner was almost ready.
"Care for an appetizer?" I asked, slipping out of his reach and picking up the platter of bacon-wrapped water chestnuts on the table. His attention diverted from my feather conundrum, he happily took an hors d'ouvre from the platter. "Mmmmmm," he savored. "I love these. The last time I ate these was when...."
"we drove out to Kentucky to meet your parents last Christmas. Is that chicken I smell?"
I coughed loudly, catching the feathers that shot out of my mouth with my hand as I hurried into the kitchen.
"Chicken? Of course not! I know how you hate chicken. We're having..."
Beluga Caviar. I know its a little expensive but for such a special day I thought we'd splurge."
"You do remember what day it is today right?"
"Um, of course I do darling," he stammered, "It's..."
Mike the Headless Chicken Days! You remember him! He was the chicken that lived for days, months even, after having his head cut off. He was the most famous citizen of Fruita, Colorado.
The robot then came around the corner. She was suffering from a bout of terrets (sic) syndrome again. She continued to dust as she stammered,
"Eat the chicken, eat the chicken, eat the chicken."
"Noooooo! Not the chicken!"
Peter stared at me in horror. "What chicken?" he asked, keeping his voice calm, and slowly edging for the door.
"Oh, Petey, I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but...I'm moonlighting as a chicken."
"What?" he gasped, dropping into a nearby chair.
"A chicken. I'm sorry, dear, I meant to tell you..."
The robot continues to dust and stammer about eating chicken, when suddenly her duster uncovers...
a very large egg.
Peter stared at it.
"What is that?"
I swallowed, trying hard to think of a way to put it gently.
"Remember when I said I was thinking about starting a daycare business at home?"
Peter looked confused and said...
"who the baby daddy?" thinking to himself, "I thought we agreed to wait until....
... St. Swithin's Day, the highest-ranked baby-conceiving day in the Western Hemisphere."
I interrupted his thoughts. "Remember that show, 'Mork and Mindy'? When Mork and Mindy got married, and Mork got pregnant and laid an egg, and then that big ugly man-baby was hatched, which totally ruined the show?"
"Yes," Peter said skeptically.
"Well," I said slowly. "I....
guess you can be really glad that instead of being from another planet I'm just the daughter of genetic scientists who run a chicken farm in Kentucky. Our baby will start out a baby, and grow to be an adult."
Peter blinked once and then stared at me. Pretty soon I noticed a trickle of drool at the corner of his mouth and decided to give him something to do.
"Here," I said, handing him the egg, "Why don't you hold this."
("should I sit on it?")
Peter sets the egg down gently in his lap....
"You know when I was voted most likely to Hatch the greatest future plans.....I had no idea, this is what my future held."
Peter scratches his head, lays his head down on the cool surface of the table and says, "Deer...or should I say chick, rather....do you want to start at the very begining.....and tell me HOW EXACTLY.....and WHERE EXACTLY this here egg came from?"
Peter begins to massage his forehead when suddenly she throws the bowl of corn on the floor, and says..."You remember that time we...
went Salsa dancing with your parents?"
"Yes..." I was beginning to regret giving Peter the egg to hold as I watched him become increasingly aggitated.
"I think your Dad took a sample of my blood that night! It was right at that part of the dance when I dipped you, and I couldn't move my arms because I was busy trying to hold you up! Your dad swooped by with your Mom at that moment, and I felt a sharp pain in my shoulder and I felt dizzy for a few moments. When I looked up I saw your Dad putting what looked like a vial of blood in his pocket."
Suddenly Peter stood up, forgetting the egg on his lap...
until the last possible second. He clutched it close to his chest.
"Are you saying what I think?" he murmured. The last time Dad did that was just before...
Hi Angel,
I just wanted to thank you for my good mail that I got today. That was sweet of you! And I love it! Really love the feathers too.
Thanks for the Good Mail! I loved it!
Before Peter could finish the egg started quivering. A blinding flash filled the room and the last thing Peter heard was, "I knew Dad shouldn't have used nuclear energy in this cloning experiment!!!!"
When they woke up the angels were dancing.
What a fun blog! I love the continuous story thingy...fun!
Post a Comment
<< Home